Ep 017: Business, Motherhood, and Letting Go of “Shoulds” – with Erin Trier

00:04
Welcome to the Shannon Acheson Show, real business talk for real life. I’m Shannon, creative business coach, digital product lover, and your strategy sidekick. I’ve built a business that fits my life, and now I help other women do the same. No hustle, no fluff, just smart, honest conversations about building a business that works for you. Let’s dive in.

00:31
to the show. am so excited to have Erin here. We actually met through a group called Brand Builders Group, working on our brands and we sort of just connected and kept in contact for a while, guess. So Erin, would you like to introduce yourself and just tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do? Of course, Shannon, thank you so much for the opportunity to be here and to connect more. I

00:58
love podcasting so much and I love having the opportunity to just share stories, share our journeys, share a little bit about the work we’re doing in the world and just what we’re trying to strive for as far as impact. And so I can’t thank you enough for giving me the chance to kind of share more about who I am and what I do. So my name is Erin Trier. I’m a mom of four. I live in Park City, Utah with my family. I’ve been married to my husband, Dave, for 16 years. And I have for the majority of my motherhood season been at home with my kids and

01:28
picking up work here and there that I could do in the cracks of my motherhood journey, if you want to call it that. So before I stepped into motherhood, I worked in corporate HR. I have a background in social work and psychology, and I’ve always been a people person, always working with people in different capacities, whether that’s professionally, more personally, and more of the therapeutic setting. And slowly over time, I’ve built myself into more of the health and wellness realm.

01:53
So I grew up an athlete, always have loved health and wellness. And as I stepped into motherhood, I really started to learn a lot about the importance of taking care of myself and my own wellbeing while I was taking care of all of the little humans around me. And so, like I said, I’ve been at home for 13 and a half years or so as a stay at home mom. And in that timeframe, I’ve slowly started to work more in health capacities, health coaching specifically.

02:20
And you know, I’ve come up with different kinds of programming on my own. I’ve also worked in the network marketing space. I’ve done a lot of different things to kind of help moms and women feel supported on their inside out health and wellness journey. And so now I’m kind of in this place where I’m starting to build more of my own brand. And so the past five years, I’ve been diving into more health and wellness certifications and figuring out what do I want to create that I’ve learned along the way from my own experience.

02:48
that I feel like can really serve women in a lot of different capacities based on where they’re at in their season of life, where they’re at in their motherhood journey, that I know will be something that they can carry for their longevity wellness. That’s really what I’m most passionate about now. So in a nutshell, that’s a little bit about me and kind of where I’ve been and where I am now. I think, thank you so much for that. And I’m so glad you’re here. I know you thanked me, but I’m so glad that you’re here. I think that…

03:14
Oh my gosh, there’s so much in what you just said that I just want to touch on. um One of them is like, yeah, when you’re home with your kids, you kind of do fill in what works sort of in the margins and in the quote unquote free space. And then I think the direction you’ve sort of chosen to go is super, super important because I feel like as moms, and I am 100 % guilty of this, we tend to look after everybody else and forget that we still need looking after, right? Like that if we do not,

03:43
take care of ourselves, we’re gonna be no use to anyone else. And that’s not a selfish thing, that’s a reality thing of motherhood’s exhausting. Having babies is, you know, it’s a lot of work for our bodies. And I think that the direction that you’ve gone is really super, super important for all women, but for moms especially. And I just love that that’s sort of where you’ve chosen to focus and where you’re, it seems like really where your passion is, right? Yes, that is where my passion is.

04:11
I know there’s a lot we want to kind of chat through today so I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I really, you know, I really have started to build a lot of the work I do around identifying the gaps that I felt on my own journey. So from before I had babies to freshly postpartum to the maternal mental health space, now I’m into kind of the midlife perimenopause menopause transition. You know, like that’s a whole nother ball of wax, right?

04:40
It’s a whole nother thing. And so I’ve, you know, I have firsthand learned the transitions we go through as women physiologically and psychologically and so much more. And so as I’ve kind of evolved on my own journey, I again, I’ve learned where the gaps in support are, where the gaps in education are, where the gaps are when it comes to programming and support and resources. And so I’ve wanted to really figure out how do I support women in this transition that inevitably happens to all of us because our health

05:10
evolves over time. And that’s something we’re not really taught enough about. We never really are educated about what’s really going to happen with our bodies and our brains from the inside out. And so I really truly am passionate about building resources in an area of support where women feel heard, seen, and loved and understood for what they’re managing in their own personal journey. And I think that understood piece is a big piece too, right? Like nobody quite understands it like someone who’s

05:36
been there and gone through it. And so that understanding is a huge thing rather than sometimes, well, the opposite of that, right? One more sort of. Anyways, I won’t go down a negative road, but yeah, no, like that understanding, that makes a huge difference, I think, too, right? Like whether you’re at postpartum, whether you’re in paramedic pause, whether, I mean, that’s something you and I have talked about a bit too. And yeah, like that piece is huge, huge in that. So.

06:03
That being said, like that’s your passion and sort of you’ve taken a path to get to this place. What sort of first led you to like this kind of work, like this kind of business for that you’re running now? I would say kind of just to recap, really my own experience. Yeah. I was really tired of feeling like I wasn’t really being heard and seen in my own symptoms, in my own evolution of health.

06:31
You know, I’ve gone to different kinds of practitioners in the past and have worked with different, you know, places for programming in my wellness. And I just always felt like I wasn’t really hitting the mark on what I needed as my health evolved over time. You know, a lot of what I talk about in the work that I do is that oftentimes in the wellness space, we are marketed or shown the one size fits all mentality or here’s the quick fix, or here’s the one way you need to figure out how to put this into your life.

06:59
versus the opposite. Like how do we figure out where you are and then craft a really unique and specific health plan to what feels good to you and your lifestyle and your goals and where you truly are. And so that’s what led me to where I am. I’ve wanted to really figure out how do I support women with building bio individual health programming and plans? How do we get to this place of empowering women to really advocate for what they need?

07:24
because so much of wellness, like I said, has been here’s what you need to figure out how to fit into your life. Here’s the one size fits all. And that’s not the mentality that really serves us for our longevity health. And it’s a message that I wanna continue to chip away at and break down because I want this to be a shift for women where they are right now in their season of life, but also for future generations to come. I think there’s a lot of growth we can continue to do in the women’s health space overall.

07:50
And that’s really why I want to serve where I’m at, because I see every day the messaging that doesn’t feel very productive, you know, the programming that doesn’t really serve women and their physiology. And I want to continue to just help women understand that there’s so much more that we really can do to craft a longevity health plan that feels really good and sustainable. If we kind of chip away at some of the unlearning we need to do based on what’s been shared for decades when it comes to health and wellness and what’s actually healthy for us.

08:20
Yeah, think that is such a good point in that the one size fits all doesn’t necessarily work. We’re all women, but we’re all very, very different, right? uh Even just you and I, you’re an athlete. I am most certainly not an athlete. so a basic physiology, that’s going to make a difference. Psychology of how we grew up, all the things. So I think the same can be said, and this is why I’m sort of.

08:47
you know, you know sort of what I was doing before and I’m pivoting sort of to more business things because I feel like there’s only so much you can do that’s one size fits all before you really need to sort of look at your season of life and where you’re at and go, no, this is what fits right now for where I am in a business, in your health, in all the things. So I really love that the contrast between the one size fits all and sort of definitely the more customized approach to things. em

09:17
Has your business sort of, you touched on this a little bit in your introduction, like you’ve done different things. What are some of like the big sort of shifts or changes that you’ve gone through over the years? Cause you know, we met through brand builders, so you were sort of already working in this sort of place where you are now, but I didn’t know you before. sort of, have there been big changes? You mentioned network marketing and different things. Yes, there have been a lot of big changes in my business journey. You know, I started

09:47
in a network marketing model where the definition of success was kind of drawn up for me, right? These are the things you need to do and should be doing and have to strive for in order to be successful in the model that you’re working in. And as I got deeper into it, I really realized that there were a lot of things that felt very out of alignment for me in a model like that. There are pros and cons to every kind of business model, right? But for me, I learned a lot about

10:15
how do I want to define success? And that’s probably been the biggest shift of all for me. And when I think about my business journey over the past decade or so, that’s been the biggest thing that I’ve had to really shift out of and give myself permission to lean into a little bit more because I was letting a lot of things outside of me in the model I was working in, but even beyond that, dictate what I needed to do or had to do in order to be successful. And I lost sight of what really filled my cup, what really

10:45
felt aligned for me, the pace that actually felt good for my life, right, because I am a mom of four. I actually also have a medical son who requires a lot of needs, right? So like I had to get really honest about what felt good, aligned, and successful for me as I was building my business, building my impact, leaning into my calling and more. And that was a journey for me. It was very hard to really kind of pull myself out of what I thought I needed to do or had to do in order to be successful.

11:14
And as I’ve, you know, dove deeper into entrepreneurship and kind of building more of my own brand, because that’s really where I’ve been focused the past five years or so, I’ve really pulled back a lot on understanding that it’s okay to really redefine what feels good to you, what feels successful for you, what feels aligned for your family and your own goals and values. And that’s been the biggest shift that I’ve had to really embrace, even though it’s been uncomfortable, but it’s really put me in this.

11:42
tremendously different headspace when it comes to building a business. And that’s been the biggest gift of all because there were seasons in the past where I was letting success be defined outside of me. And I just led myself into this massive place of burnout. And I wasn’t really working in a way that felt aligned and good and fulfilling. It was more like I had to do the things in order to meet the success marks that were putting, that were put in front of me. And it really felt defeating.

12:08
in a lot of ways. And so I’ve had to grow through that and evolve through that and kind of get to the place I am now of really redefining what feels good to me as I’m building a business. Yeah, I think that’s super, super key. And I love that. And it’s something that I’ve been working through too, right? Because it’s super easy, even as independent, you know, entrepreneurs and moms who are like in charge of things and whatever, it can be really easy to look at those, you know, sort of the other people, whether it’s online, whether it’s in a company you work for, whether it’s just people in your life.

12:37
and what they are striving for for success and think that that’s what you need to be doing too, right? Like I used to think because of looking at everybody else, like I’m not gonna name names, but like there are some like big people in the sort of the business space and think, oh, I need to have this giant team. I need to move my office out of my house. I need to like, you know, be making millions and millions and millions of dollars. And I’m like, okay, but no. And for me, this is kind of recent too, right? In the last couple of years, it’s like, wait, no.

13:07
That’s not what I want. That’s, don’t want to manage, like personally, I don’t want to manage a big team. I like having my office in my house, right? Like, and my kids are grown now, they’re in their early twenties, but like, there are still certain things where it’s like, no, that’s not what I want. And I think a really important takeaway for like anybody who’s listening, if you’re not already aware of this, maybe I’m just really slow at the uptake, but like.

13:32
You need to choose what you want your business to look like, not what someone else’s idea of what it should look like, right? Like, so I think that’s really, really a key point. And I love that you’re working through that sort of at the same time as I am. we didn’t even know, right? Yeah. I love that. It’s very much a part of the entrepreneurial journey, right? It’s just, you get into these head spaces very easily. Like you said, Shannon, of feeling like

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I have to do this or if I’m gonna be successful, this is what my business needs to look like, this is what my team needs to look like. And it’s so important to take that step back and ask yourself, well, but what do I want it to look like? And more importantly, what do want it to feel like? Because when you’re not asking yourself, what do I want it to feel like, you’re really starting to miss the whole point. Because being an entrepreneur, building your brand, building your voice, or really whatever work you’re doing, you want to feel like,

14:28
present and grounded and fulfilled in the day to day that you’re doing. And if you’re not, then you really are missing just so much of the growth experience and how it really should feel when you’re kind of working towards those kinds of things in your life or goals, et cetera. And so I’ve had to really get honest and it’s not perfect, right? It’s messy, but being more mindful and aware of it has helped me really pull out of some of the ways that I thought I needed to be successful and instead lead into the ways that I really want to.

14:58
be successful. And that’s like, it’s so funny because you’re like, you’re sort of missing it. I’m like, you’re kind of missing like, entrepreneurship is like, it’s hard and it’s, you know, sort of all encompassing, but it’s also so there’s so many blessings in it, right? Like, and if you’re not doing it the way that you genuinely should be doing it for you, for your family, like for your life, you’re missing the best parts of being an entrepreneur, right? Like you’re not serving in the best capacity for the people you’re serving and you’re not serving.

15:27
in the best capacity for yourself and for your family. Yes, 100%. Yeah. But it’s hard work to sort of, you know, unlearn those things. Yeah. Yes. There’s a lot of unlearning. Yeah. And then just sort of not putting blinders on, but almost putting blinders on a little bit when you see like when you’re online naturally, because we have to be online. When you see what other people are sharing and posting, right? You’re like, Nope, that’s not what I want. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that’s, it’s definitely a process. I feel like that.

15:57
It almost feels like it’s continually evolving, right? Like there is no sort of, this is it, this is sort of what it is, but it’s like, no, I need to make a little shift a little bit, right? Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. So have you ever sort of had to let go of something that once felt important in order to make space for what actually fit? Like you’re saying like, obviously there’s the good parts of this whole shifting to what fits and what works for you, but did you ever feel like sort of you had to let go of something that felt important in order to…

16:26
to do that? Yeah, I, when I think about this question, Shannon, I think about timelines most, if I’m honest. I really dove hard into like these specific timelines in the beginning of building a business and being an entrepreneur. Like, okay, at the beginning, here’s my goals and these are the timelines that’s going to happen in and here’s the revenue I’m going to hit and here are the people I’m going to impact and here’s the program I’m going to build. m

16:50
I had it all set up on timelines, which I think are really valuable because for me, they can be a hard deadline where you’re working towards something, but I don’t know about you, most often when I set the timelines, the thing I’ve envisioned to actually happen by that timeline isn’t quite exactly the way I had thought it would go.

17:08
And that was probably the biggest thing that I had to really start to let go of because I would just internalize all of it and I would start to beat myself up and I would say like, I’m not meant for this or I can’t do this or this isn’t for me because I can’t seem to get to the exact goal that I’ve mapped out by the exact timeline that I have put on paper or whatever. Right. Which is arbitrary anyways. Yes. Which is arbitrary anyways. You decided. Yes. Whatever said. No, I get it though. Totally.

17:37
Yeah, and you know for me what I’ve what I’ve really started to identify is when I set hard timelines It still pushes me to grow in some way. It still pushes me to evolve I’m still working towards the thing and that’s what matters and it doesn’t have to be this the situation where you’re Internalizing or beating yourself up for not actually getting to the places that you thought you would by a certain time

18:01
And instead, really think about what are you doing and what progress have you made and what ways have you grown as you’ve moved towards specific kinds of goals and timelines that you’ve created. And so that’s been a big shift for me as an entrepreneur because in the beginning, I felt like a massive failure. Like this wasn’t for me because I wasn’t able to hit the mark as I had it lined up in my head. But in entrepreneurship, one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is understanding that everything has to be fluid in some way. There’s constant flexibility. There’s constant.

18:30
learning and unlearning, growth and setbacks and it’s part of the journey. Like it feels messy in that way, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re failing or falling behind. It’s literally the journey. That’s what it feels like. And I’ve had to let go of that perfection kind of mindset and realize that, entrepreneurship is really messy. And just because I’m not getting to the place that I’ve set up in my mind exactly when I said I would, doesn’t mean that I’m failing in any way. It just means that I’m learning at the pace.

19:00
That’s part of my journey and I have to really continue to lean into that and have faith around it and embrace it. Because that’s been a mindset shift that has helped me tremendously as I keep building my own brand. Yeah, because you can get really stuck in this, I didn’t meet this goal that I had for myself, right? Because that’s what timelines are. They’re a goal that you set for yourself based on when you think you can or should have something done. And that can be really disheartening if you don’t get there. But at the same time, like you said, if you don’t set those, you’re kind of

19:30
leaving yourself without something to shoot for, you know, Wayne Gretzky, like you miss 100 % of the goals you don’t take. Jots you don’t take, sorry. And so like, reference. I love it. I love it. But like, it’s so true. That crosses over into anything, right? Like if you don’t set those timelines for yourself, you don’t have to, you don’t have anything to shoot for because you’re like, well, I’ll finish it.

19:57
some time, right? Like I know it’s something I need to do and you know, I’ll create that offer like sometime when I get to it instead of no, I’m aiming for this and if I don’t quite hit it, that’s okay because I’ve made progress in the meantime, right? And being fluid. Yeah. And letting go of the perfection. Yeah. That’s a good, that’s a tough one. It’s big part. Yeah, is. It’s huge. So you talked about living, you have talked about living with intention and purpose, like

20:26
How did those values sort of show up in your work? So I would say for me when I think about the work that I’m doing, I’m always asking myself, how am I serving others, but how am I making sure that I’m doing that without sacrificing my own well-being? Because uh there was a point in my business where I was serving others and completely sacrificing my own well-being.

20:50
And so that’s been something I’ve also grown into. When I think about intention, when I think about being purposeful in my work, it starts with making sure that I’m also really protecting my own peace of mind, my own wellness, my own needs, more or less. And that’s a really easy thing to skip, not only in motherhood, but also in entrepreneurship.

21:11
Because all of a sudden, you know, the lists get long and there’s all these responsibilities and these things that you want to work towards and deadlines and, projects and all the things which are amazing. But if you’re working to the point of not really pouring into yourself and getting intentional with what you truly need, then again, kind of like I said before, you start to miss the point of what the whole journey should feel like and what the whole journey is. And so

21:37
Personally, I really focus a lot on how do I feel like I’m always asking myself in my work Like how do I actually feel and what I’m doing does this feel aligned does this feel like you know I’m doing things in a way that feel purposeful that feel like I’m moving towards my the target that I’m working on Without sacrificing how I internally feel and if not then there’s things that I kind of start to ask myself What do I need to adjust like is it is it?

22:02
the actual goal in some way that I need to adjust? Is it the path that I’m getting there? Is it the time that I’ve allotted that I actually have capacity for or not? What are the things that I really need to start to work myself out of that are making this feel really unintentional or almost forced? And you know, in the beginning of my entrepreneurship journey, there were seasons where things felt so forced and I would just grind through and keep going because I thought I had to, right? I had to meet that definition of success. was outside of myself.

22:32
and I was just pushing through and pushing through and grinding and it didn’t feel good. And that’s the key for me when I think about entrepreneurship, the work I’m doing, the way I’m trying to create a program or impact, et cetera. It’s always coming back to how do I feel in this and am I really nurturing my own wellbeing along the way? Like that’s what feels purposeful to me because when I’m doing that, I can show up better for the work I’m doing, right? I could show up better for my clients. can show up better.

22:59
in the ways that I’m serving or presenting or talking to other women or other entrepreneurs about the work they’re doing, whatever it is, I show up better when I’m really asking myself, how do I feel and am I nurturing my own wellness? Because if I don’t, I just show up depleted and distracted and not in a way that I really feel like is the most powerful that I can be as a woman and as an entrepreneur. So those are the things that really I focus on the most.

23:28
Totally makes sense. love the, you know, how I feel, how I feel because, you know, business and entrepreneurship is very much a headspace thing and a, you know, take action and the lists are never ending, right? But if you don’t check in, especially as women entrepreneurs, I think, and as moms, right? There are so many things that if you don’t check in with how you’re feeling, it’s super easy to get to this place of I’m burnt out, I’m exhausted, I don’t, whatever. I remember ages ago.

23:59
years and years ago, I worked for this company. It was kind of a direct marketing company, like, um it was life insurance and stuff like that. And so I was taking exams for that, but I had little, little children and like, I was drinking like Red Bull and I was like trying to study for these exams. And sure enough, you know, the exams come and go, Christmas hits and I get pneumonia. Like, I wasn’t checking in. I wasn’t giving myself the time. And so it…

24:26
Yeah, like you need to check in and see how you’re doing if you need to check out and go read a book for a little while or go hang out with the kids or readjust what the goal or the sort of end thing is. And I think that matters, especially for what you’re teaching, right? Like you need to, we all need to lead by example, but you get to lead by example in sort of with your health and things like that, right? So, yeah, I can totally see how that plays out.

24:54
Yeah, I love that you just said that as far as giving yourself those moments of pause and break. It’s some of the most powerful work we can do. And it’s really hard to do that as a busy mom, as a busy business owner, entrepreneur. But those can be profound for how you actually can continue to move forward, to really reset how you feel, to kind of give yourself that recalibration in your mindset. It’s so important to remember it can be those small, simple things. uh

25:21
And those breaks can be really, really big. So I love that you touched on that, Shannon. Yeah. And I think you need to know yourself, right? Like I know for me, I need bigger margins than other people do. I need slower mornings. And I need, like, I just need bigger margins. I feel like then some people I know who are like, go, go, go, go, go. But like when I get into it, I’m like, I’m good to go, but I just need bigger. And so you need to know yourself for what you can handle and what.

25:50
is good for you, right? Because you’re not the same as I am. We’re all going to have different sort of things. And so you can look at someone else’s suggestions and go, again, does that feel like the right thing for me, right? Right, absolutely. Yeah. OK. So when you sort of have new opportunities or new ideas sort of come to you, how do you decide? I’m guessing that I know the answer to this.

26:18
How do you decide what’s actually sort of worth saying yes to and then what helps you sort of filter out the noise of that? That’s such a great question. And one of the things I’ve had to learn, honestly, is to weigh a little bit more against what my family needs. there were seasons where I didn’t do that enough. even to this day, my oldest is almost 14 and my little guy is, he’ll be six in October.

26:45
But even now I reflect back and I have regret. Like I have regret on things that I missed because I was trying to be successful so diligently in the beginning, right? When my kids were a little bit smaller and I felt like maybe I had a little bit more bandwidth because they were napping or because I was able to kind of make it work in a different capacity. And when I really reflect back.

27:10
hindsight is very interesting because there’s moments now where I’m like, I missed it. I missed things in my kid’s childhood. I was doing too much that felt really out of alignment because of how success was being defined outside of me. And I wasn’t assessing my overall family’s needs enough. And so when I think about, know, what do I really need to do when it’s a yes or a no, I’m looking at more of my family more often.

27:38
sooner than I was before. And I really try to schedule working hours or podcasting or doing things with building my coaching program, et cetera, in timeframes where I know that I can get some level of a balance, even though I don’t believe in balance. It’s some level of a give and take that feels a little bit better, where I know I have to have dedicated time to pour into my work, but I also know that I have to have very specific dedicated time for my family and my kids.

28:07
And so when I’m thinking about what’s a yes, I start with kind of family, what feels aligned, does this feel manageable in the time that I have? I kind of assess the season we’re in. Sometimes, you we’re in seasons where we have a lot more medical appointments and things going on with my son. And so in those seasons, it’s not as much yes. It’s more swinging towards my family responsibilities and my mom responsibilities, if you will. So that’s a big one. But the other one is always just, again, how do I feel? Like I’ve already said, like.

28:35
How do I actually feel? Does this feel like it’s a line for me? Does this feel like it actually is going to fill me up in some way or really amplify my business and someone else’s business? there a synergy there? That’s a big one. ah And really trying to assess, this really work with where I want to go and the messaging that I’m trying to put out into the world? And so that’s always a big consideration as well. So I think, know.

29:01
As I’ve kind of shared already, it’s very imperfect. Like all of this is very imperfect. It’s just more of this mindfulness practice. And I’ve learned along the way, in some seasons the hard way, that I have to be mindful, that I have to be self-aware, that I have to be checking in with myself, and I have to be checking in with my motherhood and family responsibilities before I really dive into saying all the yeses. You know, I have… um

29:24
My husband is also, he’s not an entrepreneur right now in this season. He does work for a startup, which is more or less kind of like an entrepreneur. ah And so he has a lot of responsibilities too. He travels a lot, he works long hours. And so that also has to be a consideration inside of our larger family. Like what can we really realistically manage and how do we ebb and flow? And so because I have a little bit more flexibility in the work that I do, oftentimes.

29:49
there is a little more ebb and flow on my side, which I’ve learned to kind of embrace rather than fight it, rather than be angry about it, rather than be resentful. I’ve learned that this is the reality of the pace that we can maintain right now as a family unit. And I get my time when I can set aside the intentional time. And beyond that, there has to be this level of just trying to work together as a family to figure out what makes the most sense. And sometimes it’s great and sometimes it’s really messy.

30:18
But it’s more of that mindfulness around it. Yeah and mindful of like what season you’re in. and right like you said he’s working for a startup so that changes things in this season and it necessarily always be that thing right like and I think I wanted I actually wanted to ask you something you said you don’t believe in balance. Yeah. So and I think explain what that means I think I know what you mean but explain what you what that means to you. For me

30:47
At least like in the beginning of my motherhood journey, like I always felt like I had to give myself equal parts to all the things. Like I equally had to give myself to my kids and myself and my marriage and my house and whatever. And I’ve learned that it’s never like that. Like it’s never equal parts of you to all these different facets of your life. And so in different seasons, there are certain things that get more attention or time. And so I’ve had seasons where I’ve had to pour into my kids.

31:16
more than anything else. And my marriage isn’t quite the same, right? There’s seasons where I’ve poured in my marriage more, because we’ve needed that time to kind of rebuild or restore some of the things that we’ve maybe not spent enough time on as we’ve been growing our family and building our businesses, et cetera. And so there’s seasons where we do a little bit more with our marriage. And, you know, I’m always, again, trying to figure out, how can I make sure that I’m touching on these different facets of my life based on my priorities?

31:42
but being gentle and grace-filled with myself that it’s not gonna be equal parts. There’s always gonna be some ebb and flow like I’ve talked about. There’s always gonna be some level of imperfection. know, one of the things I talk about in my coaching program with women around their health, but this goes for every aspect of life, is we have to really start to master the art of imperfection. Because when we don’t, we internalize and we beat ourselves up and we stay in the all or nothing mindset and we feel like somehow,

32:10
we’re not doing enough or we’re falling short. And that’s not the reality. The reality is we all have crazy full lives with a lot we’re trying to work through and manage, whether that’s family, marriage, work, et cetera. And it’s going to be imperfect. It’s going to feel kind of messy. And that’s OK. That doesn’t say anything about you as a woman or as a business owner or as a partner, et cetera.

32:34
It literally is the reality of how we all live our life in some capacity. And so for me, that’s what it means. Understanding it’s never gonna be equal parts into every bucket that you’re pouring into and instead giving yourself grace to kind of figure out what do the needs look like right now in the season and where do I need to be pouring my time and energy with intention based on where we’re at. Right. So a lot more in flow, like going with the flow sounds so like trite, but like literally going with the flow is to like.

33:03
what’s happening rather than trying to achieve some perfect balance. Exactly. Business is here, kids are here, everything’s equal. When the fact of the matter is you’re right in different seasons, different pieces of the things that you need to look after, the people you need to care for, the people you care for, not just need to care for, but everything requires different amounts of you in different seasons. Exactly. Sometimes you need more self-care and there’s a season for that. Sometimes it’s the kids with…

33:33
health things or struggles that they have. I I’ve gone through the whole teenage years. All my kids are in their early 20s now, right? Like, there are struggles that require more focus at different times. And so I think I agree with you as far as like the perfect balance sort of definition of things. I don’t think that exists. I think there’s much more of a being aware and adjusting. Yeah, absolutely. No, that’s good. So, um

34:00
Obviously, I know this next question. When your business starts to feel off, sort of misaligned, overwhelming, or just exhausting, I know how you recognize it, you ask. How you feel, which totally makes sense. um Explain sort of a little bit, like, how do you shift gears? Like, it’s one thing to recognize that things are off, but sometimes it’s a little hard to actually do the shift, like, shift gears and deal with what needs looking after. Yeah.

34:30
One of the things I do in my work, and this is actually something I’ve also personally learned in the past five or so years, is actually really starting to tune into your female physiology. And when I talk about lack of education, I talk about things we haven’t learned, this is one of those things. That’s essentially understanding that as women, we are a different person every single day because of how our physiology shifts, because of hormone changes, et cetera.

34:54
And even as we get into the perimenopause and menopause transition, that’s still a reality. We really are different people every single day of the year. And so our energy is different. Our mood is different. We feel more fatigued. We feel more energized. Every single day has a different kind of feel to it. And so this is something I teach in my coach work. I start to help women really get in tune with where is your physiology at?

35:20
where are your hormones potentially at in that season, regardless of where you’re at physiologically, and what does that mean for how you feel, right? Energy-wise, mood-wise, clarity-wise, you know, there’s times when we have more creativity in our brains, there’s times when we need to kind of hibernate and kind of go inward a little bit more. Like, this is all a very real part of being a woman. And I didn’t really understand this at all until the last five years.

35:47
And as I get more in tune, it’s like, okay, wow, now I understand why I feel certain ways at certain times of the month, why I have certain seasons or moments where I feel super clear and super motivated and super productive. And there’s other times where I feel like I just need to go inward and I just need to take some time for myself and I need to be honoring that and recognizing that. And so when I think through this piece to the overall puzzle of my work, I’ve started to really lean into that more.

36:16
and giving myself permission to say, again, every day is going to be a little bit different. It’s gonna look different, it’s gonna feel different, and that doesn’t mean anything about me or how productive I am or how successful I am. It really is physiologically how I’m changing and how I have to honor that. You know, one of the things that I’ve learned from different mentors that I work with is how fascinating it is that we live in a society that functions on circadian rhythm, and so it’s 24-7 all the time.

36:43
And kind of you spoke to this Shannon, like there’s people that can get up and just plow right into work right in the beginning of the day, or they can go all day, all night and that’s how they function best or that’s what serves them. But there’s other people like me and you, I totally relate to you. I can’t do that, right? I need to have a little bit more of certain cadence. I need to have kind of this setup for the day. um I’m not someone who can dive right into work the second I get up.

37:08
And you know, there’s so much that we can learn about something called our infradian rhythm as women, which is essentially the cyclical nature that we go through every single month. And that’s not something that our society is built around. That’s not something that work is built around. You know, that’s not something that we actually have been able to honor. But for me, it’s the more you start to learn that, the more you can start to figure out,

37:32
what actually can I dive into in different capacities, in different moments, of different parts of the month or whatever, that’s actually going to fill my cup in a way that feels good from the inside out. And so I talk a lot about this with my clients, but in the work that I do and even with other entrepreneurs, female entrepreneurs that I’ve talked to, like this can start to be a really profound thing that we lean on a little bit more because it helps us really get into this place of nurturing our body and brain with intention, like we maybe never have before.

38:01
Yeah, I love that and I love that and I love that you said you hadn’t really thought about it before the last five years or whatever. I mean, I’m not in your sort of vertical as far as that goes, but obviously I’m a woman. I’m 49 years old, so well into paramenopause and whatever. And I hadn’t thought about it before the last few years either. I am sort of…

38:26
empathic and sensitive and whatever. And so things just started to affect me so much more. I’d be like, I can’t make a decision to save my life. Like we’d be doing Reynolds and I’d be like, I don’t know. Whereas normally I’m like, yeah, that one looks great. Right. Like, and so it was this weird. then other times I’d be like, yep, I can totally brainstorm all the ideas and oh my gosh, everything’s awesome. And then the rest I’m like, nope, can’t do anything going to hide with my blanket. Right. Like, but that means.

38:56
That’s not a weakness. That means that then we can take those times where we have that extraordinary like creativity and energy and use that in such a great way. And so I think there’s a little bit of this in society, this, you know, it’s, it’s a negative to talk about, or it has been, I think I’ve seen it more lately that it’s not a negative, but like, it’s a negative to talk about those things and we should sort of minimize all that. And, and I think I just love that it’s becoming a little bit more.

39:26
you know, at the forefront and women entrepreneurs, because that’s who I’m around, but like women entrepreneurs especially are like, no, let’s like harness the good in that and the strengths in that, right? Like I think I love that and I love that you’re focusing on that with, you know, with yourself and with your clients. That’s amazing. Yeah. You hit the nail on the head though with.

39:48
just really giving yourself grace for this part of how we really truly are physiologically. Like this is how we were created to be. But we haven’t been empowered enough to learn how to harness it, but also how to voice it and normalize that this is really the reality of women, right? This is the reality of how our bodies function from the inside out. And so I love that you talked about that Shannon, because that’s very real. Like getting to this place of feeling empowered.

40:17
with normalizing that we do feel different and that there are seasons and weeks or whatever where we feel more motivated and productive versus going inward and being a little bit more reserved or whatever the case may be for each and every one of us because for so long we haven’t been normalizing or talking about that. So, so many women are grinding through and doing the same exact thing every day and they wonder why some days feel so impossible and some days feel a little bit better than others and physiologically.

40:46
the hormonal fluctuation inside of us is why. It’s a big deal. It’s a big deal. It is a big deal. It’s a huge deal. Like huge. Yeah. And like you said, I’m glad. I’m glad there’s just more talking about it. There’s more normalization. There’s more. We’re bringing this to the forefront. Women are talking about it more. Like this is something we need to continue to do not only for us now, but for future generations because it shouldn’t. It shouldn’t be this thing that is somehow stigmatized or that we don’t speak about because it is.

41:13
something that we need to really normalize and talk through more. I know it’s been something, I mean it’s not something my mom or my aunts talked about. Mine neither. My mom was young and had a hysterectomy and whatever so like didn’t go through what I’m going through now at all so like no frame of reference. But I know that we’ve talked about here I have two daughters and a son and I know it’s something that like we’ve talked about a bunch here like with the girls when they’re like oh my gosh I just feel so eh right? Yeah. It’s like no but that’s okay like just.

41:42
try to put off the decision making till you feel like you are in a good, confident place to make that choice, right? Like it’s okay to sort of take the time. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, I love that. So what would you go back and tell a version of yourself like that was just starting out? What would you say to her? What would you sort of say to her, especially about building something that fits, you know, your real life in different seasons? I would say take your time.

42:10
I really would say take your time. I kind of talked about this. I have seasons of regret I have seasons of burnout in my history I just was trying to fit this mold that I thought I had to fit in order to be successful And you know, I grew up in a household where you know, you went to college You got a job you made a lot of money and that’s how you were successful And so a lot of that narrative i’ve carried with me even in my entrepreneurial journey and so in the beginning it was like well, how do I

42:40
How do I be successful by making an income as fast as possible? And in the beginning of that piece to the puzzle, I just really wasn’t taking care of myself at all. And I lost the intention, I lost the purpose. Like I said, I miss parts of being with my kids and my family and I wasn’t taking my time. I was trying to rush it, I was trying to force it, I was trying to just make it happen.

43:05
so then I could be this person that was successful who made all this money because that’s what I equated success with. And it just led to just some really hard seasons of not feeling great as a business owner and as someone building a brand and as an entrepreneur. And so that would be the thing that I would say is take your time and trust the process. And I’ve learned now that I’m over a decade into entrepreneurship, you have to build the person

43:34
that’s going to build your brand, that’s going to run your business along the way. Like who you become along the way is a pivotal part of how successful your brand can be. And I didn’t really embrace that or learn that or understand that. And now I know, now I see it so clearly. I was, who I am now is nowhere near who I was a decade ago. And a decade ago, like I would not have been able to manage what I manage now or what I do now or how I make an impact now in my brand.

44:05
And so that’s a huge part of the process. And so I want to encourage anyone listening to this to really embrace that piece to the entrepreneurial journey, because who you are building as a person will be the most profound thing that will change how your business comes across in so many facets of how you’re serving, et cetera. And so take your time. That’s my best thing that I would say. is so much.

44:29
And not in a weird like woo woo way, there’s so much personal growth that comes from building a business, right? Like there’s so many mindset things to, I don’t wanna say get past, but kind of get past, right? Like we get these blocks and there’s so, it takes time, it just does. It takes time and it takes grace with yourself to get there. Yeah, I love that, I love that that’s such good question. Such a good question, yeah. So what do you wish,

44:58
Aside from everything we’ve already discussed already, but what do you wish more women knew about building a business in the middle of motherhood? Or if we sort of covered. We’ve covered a lot. We’ve covered a lot. I would say that it really is hard. And I kind of feel like there were seasons or moments where I tried to pretend that it wasn’t that hard or that I could figure out how to get that arbitrary level of perfect balance.

45:26
And that’s not reality. That building a business as a mom is very hard. It really, cause being a mom is a full time job. And that’s another whole topic of conversation that we could talk about because you know, there’s been, there’s been ways that we’ve been made to believe that mothering children and taking care of a family and, and you know, nurturing a home is somehow not a full time job when it is.

45:51
I’ve seen research and people share about how being a mom and doing all the things is the equivalent of like five full-time jobs because of all of the things that are inside of that role. And so I didn’t give myself permission enough to really understand that being a full-time mom is a full-time job. And so I thought, well, I can just build this business and have this be my full-time thing and I’ll be able to figure out how to balance it all and it’ll be fine. And it wasn’t.

46:18
And I want to give women permission to understand that it is hard. Building a business is hard in motherhood. And when you’re a mom with little kids at home or any kids at home, it’s so important to figure out ways to make sure that you’re nurturing that time with them because it really does fly by and it really is gone. And as someone who sits with regret in seasons where I’ve missed things, I’ve now learned the hard way that building a business is hard in motherhood.

46:47
but it can’t be something that I let take away so much from my responsibilities in motherhood because that is a full-time role that I also play. And so I want women to really just kind of embrace that and sit with that and really just assess, you know, where does time and energy feel the most fulfilling for you right now in the season you’re in? And just giving yourself grace for the rest of it as it comes into place, because it will, it may not be in the timeline that you dream of, right? And it may not be at the pace that you want. And those, again, were hard lessons I’ve learned. ah

47:17
But I think it’s important to just kind of continue to harness that mindfulness around time and energy and effort. Yeah, and I can honestly say, like I said, being on this side of things with my kids in their early 20s, it is, it’s a lot of, I’m not gonna say balance, but it’s a lot of shuffling and juggling and making sure that, and I’m not saying that I did it perfectly by any stretch of the imagination because I most certainly did not and I miss things and anyway.

47:45
It is, it is hard. It’s, but it can also be super awesome that you can have that much flexibility. Right. Versus say a full time, you know, day job, right? There’s it is hard. Don’t get, it is hard. I’ve always laughed when people were like, well, how do you do this thing? I’m just like, seriously, you have days for me to explain it to you. Like, it’s not this, you just show up. Like even we’re doing this podcast episode, right? Like.

48:13
I prepared questions beforehand. I’m going to go and edit the video. You thought about like, it’s not this moment anyway. It is hard and I don’t want that to be a discouragement, but a real sort of eye opening kind of thing, right? Like it’s not just something to putter around with. Yeah. I love that you talked about flexibility though too, cause that’s a big one, right? I mean, there is so much pro and con.

48:40
Inside of the whole puzzle but a huge pro is the flexibility and being able to kind of dictate your own time and dictate Yeah, you know how you really want to you know show up with for your own brand or whatever you’re building and that’s something that I’ve grown to love more and more and more as I get into entrepreneurship and I think you know, have to touch on that piece because that’s a big one Yeah, and I mean because my kids are older I could go out and you know build a career outside of the house but like they’re still

49:09
They all still live here right now. Some are in school, some are done. Some have just started working, whatever. But I’m like, there are conversations that still just happen randomly because I’m here. And it’s an important conversation that needs to be had. But if I wasn’t here, I don’t know that it would have, right? Like, I’ve sort of always been here for them to be able to talk to. So I think, yes, undoubtedly it is hard and it is difficult and it is juggling. But I think the upside is, at least for me, is so…

49:38
Positive and being able to be around in that capacity right because it does go fast. I mean I’ve been home Since they were born and you know, I homeschooled them to you which was a whole other thing Yeah, but you know, it does go really fast like it’s kind of shocking to look back and go wait a second like my baby’s 20 like Yeah, it does go fast you’re right and so

50:07
Yeah, and it is a full-time job. It’s a full-time job. you know, just to kind of on the heels of that, it’s it’s more or less the grace for it, right? Because I think, you know, I’ve talked to women and other business owners, other entrepreneurs, women who want the flexibility and they’re building their brand. It’s just understanding that there has to be so much grace in it. And you cannot be internalizing and beating yourself up constantly over the hard of it all, because it is hard.

50:36
And I think sometimes, like I’ve said, the whole motherhood component specifically, we haven’t always been told how hard it really is. And you know, in this day and age, in the society we live in with all the things we’re managing and the expectations, like I feel like it’s exceptionally hard because there’s so much we’re trying to do for our families, but also for our own missions and our own hearts as women. So it’s just, it’s just having grace inside of all of it and understanding that it is going to feel imbalanced and messy. And that doesn’t say anything about you.

51:05
Very true, so true that it does not, it’s true not to internalize that. So what’s something you’re working on right now that feels like super aligned or exciting or like what’s exciting you right now? What’s exciting me right now? Well, I’m actually, I’m on the tail end of doing my functional health coaching certification, which I’m really excited about. So like another layer of just continued knowledge.

51:29
You know, I’ve learned a lot over the past handful of years about how we have to be looking at the body as a full system. you know, specifically in women’s health, we haven’t always done that, right? It’s like, if we have a symptom, what’s this one thing over here in one part of the body that might be driving something that’s going on. And, you know, the most profound thing I’ve learned on my own health journey is how the body is a full system. And so if you have symptoms happening, there’s a downstream root cause.

51:59
effect happening deeper inside of the body or the brain somewhere that we can figure out how to address. It’s just a matter of having like the right plan and doing the right things at the right time in the right order in order to help your body feel optimized and energized and all the things. So I would say for me right now, that’s the most exciting thing because I’m just excited to have this level of deeper knowledge. You know, I’m building it into my programming. have a whole coaching program that I’ve built out, but I continue to build in additional pieces so I can go deeper with women on building their bio individual health plans.

52:29
And it just feels good. just feel like I’m learning the things that I need to in order to help each woman in the individual capacity. And that matters to me because I want women to be able to craft a highly unique and personalized experience for them that serves their lifestyle, that serves their longevity, that feels good and manageable and sustainable and not like just some cookie cutter thing that you just adopt into your life. It needs to be the opposite mentality. And so that’s what I’m feeling excited about. That’s so exciting. I love it.

52:57
I think that speaks a little bit to being an entrepreneur, right? You’re always learning something new that you can pass on, right? 100%. That’s so fun. I love that. I’m like lifelong learner. I would have gone to school forever if I could, but turns out I don’t need to because I learn all the things all the time. That’s so awesome. And that’s going to be so good for your coaching clients, I think. I love that so much. So I mean, this is kind of the same question, but sort of

53:24
what’s next for you personally or professionally? Like you’ve built out your coaching program, which I think that’s kind of new, no? Yes. So in the past six to eight months, I’ve built out more of it. Really since the beginning of this year, I’ve built out more of it. um I’ve been starting to build into my own brand, like I said, the last four or five years, really with Brand Builders Group, which is how we met, which we talked about a little bit in the beginning. I’ve been doing a lot more with crafting more of my specific program over the past two years.

53:49
And so really since the beginning of this year, I’ve started to create like my unique methodology, the step-by-step process I take women through. You know, we start at the root of what potentially could be going on based on how you feel. And then we build from there kind of this holistic health plan where we’re looking at all facets of wellness from fitness and nutrition, but all the way to mental and emotional wellbeing, relational wellbeing, spiritual wellbeing, our lifestyle, our environment.

54:13
because it is this holistic puzzle we have to be addressing. It’s not just one thing if we really want to get to this place of whole health. And so, you know, that’s really what I’ve been working through and I’m going to continue to build into. like you said, Shannon, as I learn more, I’m kind of tweaking things and crafting things in a more unique capacity to make sure that I’m really serving women with intention. But I’m really excited about how it continues to come together because it’s really putting the pieces together for women of doing the right things at the right time in the right order.

54:43
And I think one thing that I talked about in my own experience and my own journey is I kind of did things backwards all over the place. I didn’t have a plan. I just kind of learned the gaps along the way. And now that I’ve learned them, I know exactly what will really serve women in different seasons of their life. And that feels really empowering. And that’s knowledge that I want to pass on to other other women because I want them to feel empowered, how to advocate, how to really take care of their health for the longterm. So super exciting for me.

55:14
So awesome, I love that so much. And I think that’s why I love coaching programs slash memberships is because as the creator, as you learn more things, it gets passed on to people who know you and trust you, right? No, I’m super excited for that.

55:32
How can people find you? Where can they find you online if they want to follow up with you, if they want to check out your coaching program and just everything that you teach? Where’s the best place for them to find you? The best places to find me are either on Instagram. I’m at Erin K. Trier on Instagram. I share the most there. That’s where I’m the most active. That’s a platform that I feel the most aligned with, right? ah Or is the simplest for me right now. So Instagram is where I hang out most often.

55:57
And then you can go to my website anytime, ErinTrier.com. And I have everything related to my coaching program on there. have, you can set up a free coaching session anytime. I have some freebies, would love to connect more. That’s awesome. So it’s Trier, but it’s T-R-I-E-R, correct? Yep. Yes. Okay. So I’ll make sure I include that in the show notes so people can find you. Thank you so much for joining me, Erin. I have loved this conversation. We actually went like almost a whole hour. I love it. Which is so good. I love it.

56:24
So thank you so much for sharing all the things you’ve learned up until, well, not all the things, but like so many of the things that you’ve learned in running your business and being a mom and all of those things. I just thank you and I appreciate you having come on today. Absolutely. Shannon, thank you so much for the opportunity.

56:43
oh That’s it for today on the Shannon Acheson Show. If you found this helpful, follow the show and share it with a friend. And hey, if you’re not sure what kind of business actually fits your life, take the free quiz at shannonacheson.com. It’ll point you in the right direction. Thanks for listening. Talk again soon.